Changing My Man

Have you ever wanted to change something about your man....friend, boyfriend, husband, father, brother, etc.? I don't mean his nose, the hair loss, bushy eyebrows, but something about his personality, his attitudes, or his beliefs.  I have!

In the past I have spent hours pondering how I could get my men to love Jesus.  I have a dear and long time friend who is an Atheist.  I love this man so very much.  We have grown to accept that we each have different beliefs and we feel safe communicating them with each other.  But, I have such heartache over this relationship.  Time and time again I have tried to share my faith coming from all different directions, only to fail each time.  My friend just isn't interested.  He comes from a Catholic upbringing so he knows the Word of God, probably even better than I do, but he only finds fault in it.  I truly believe that God has called me to give my friend the Words God wants him to hear, so I allow God to use my voice as His own.  I have felt like a failure when my friend says no, but I have to remember God called me to share His Word, He didn't call me to make my friend have a relationship with Jesus.  Only my friend and Jesus can do that.  I know Jesus is knocking and will continue to knock on the heart's door of my friend until his life on earth is no more.  I hope and pray that my dear friend will chose to change his ways and accept Jesus into his heart, but when it comes to changing his life, well, it's up to him.  As much as I wish I could, I can't change his mind or his heart.

Not long after I was born in July 1977, my Dad converted from Catholic to Southern Baptist (I am not saying salvation doesn't exist in the Catholic church.  I'm just saying this is where God called my Dad.).  Prior to that conversion he realized that He didn't have that personal relationship with Jesus that my Mom would talk about.  My Dad decided he needed a spiritual change.  One that would be grounded in the love of the Father.  So when Mom decided to walk the aisle to join a new church (after moving from Kentucky to Michigan), Dad followed her not because she was joining the church, but because He wanted to give a public profession of faith in Jesus.  Soon he followed up with Baptism by full immersion.  To this day my Dad continues to grow in his personal relationship with God.  He is the spiritual head of the household.  He has filed many positions throughout the church over the last 34 1/2 years.

My husband and I continue to struggle with what church we will serve.  I enjoy and have been called to service within the church.  Jeff has not.  He serves through his work and other outside activities as a Christian leader.  I would and have tried just about everything to "change" my husband into being a "church" man.  Jeff often takes me to church, but doesn't stay with me.  Yes, folks, it hurts and I have been very fearful for his salvation.  When we talk directly about salvation he claims that he has that saving relationship with Jesus.  I have to believe him.  I know he knows and loves Christ, but he doesn't display it in the way God led me too.  God gave Jeff and I very different spiritual gifts.  I have tried to "Change My Man" so many times I've run out of fingers and toes to count on.  But, I have to give this burden over to God and trust that He is working in Jeff's life.  The ONLY ones that can change Jeff, is Jeff and Jesus.  The relationship between them is up to them.  Sure, I can and do encourage Jeff by sharing new things I have learned, but any and all change is from the direction of Christ and then Jeff's acceptance.  

Ladies, all we can do is LOVE our Men as God LOVES the church!  Share with them as they are willing to listen.  And PRAY with and for them and especially their relationship with Christ.  Never stop praying because God can and will move mountains.  He can and will heal. He can and will change hearts, but all of this is according to His plan and His will shall be done according to His perfect timing.

So, if you want to see a change in your man, look at your life and see if you need some change in yourself.

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.  The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne.  He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches." - Revelation 3:20-22 (ESV, spoken by Jesus)

Love,

Sydni    

Have you ever found yourself in a slump?  Just down in the dumps?  Maybe a trauma has occurred.  Or maybe you have been hurt by a person's words.  I think it is safe to say "we've all been there."  But what keeps us there?  Are we making a choice?

This maybe hard to hear, but we do make a choice on our daily outlook.  No one is perfect, but that sunny disposition on your co-worker's face didn't just land there.  She may not have yelled out her bedroom window, "Hello World!  I'm so happy to see you!", but her attitude, choosing to be positive makes all the difference.

For example, I suffer from Chronic Lyme's Disease (sydnilyme.blogspot.com) and spend most of my time in pain or feeling exhausted.  I have lost my ability to drive, so I am fully dependent on others.  I can no longer do daily household chores that involve any lifting, pushing, pulling, or last more than about five to ten minutes.  In addition, I have Depression and Anxiety Disorder.  I know what it feels like to be in the slumps, dumps, and pits of life.  Sometimes it is just so easy to allow myself to stay there.  But to get out of the mud and mire it takes work.  Hard work!

The biggest step is to humble one's self before the Lord.  Whew, that can be hard, but when you do, your life starts changing.  You have to thank God for being Him, thank Him for His Son, thank Him for something He has done for you, and the pray for a change.  Ask Him to lift you from the slump, ask Him for direction, and then follow it!  This is a continued process, at minimum a daily process.  

Then you need to work on the change.  Instead of having a negative outlook on life, try to find at least one positive in your day and thank God for it.  Choose to have a positive attitude...aka. look on the sunny side of life!

Recently my mother cut off two of her fingers while using a table saw.  She took all safety precautions just as her Daddy had taught her.  It was what some call a fluke thing.  Her biggest concern is for people to pity her.  That is the last thing she wants.  Instead she deeply desires that people will praise God that she didn't lose her hand or even her life.  Her attitude is one of a child touched by God's Grace.

We are also touched by God's Grace when we humble ourselves to Him.  When He reaches down into the mud and pulls us out and places our feet on solid ground, we are receiving a gift of His Mercy and Grace.  Don't ignore that, but thank Him for it! 

Presently a friend of mine is battling breast cancer.  She has undergone chemo-therapy, a double mastectomy, removal of various lymph nodes, and reconstructive surgery.  She is facing possible additional surgery and radiation treatments.  Through it all she has never wavered in her faith.  She humbles herself before the Lord and doesn't say "why me?", but "yes Lord," and takes each day in a special light.  

Both of these ladies have every right to be angry at God, to sit in the mud, and turn their faith away from God, but instead they each made a choice to trust in Jesus and know that He will heal them in His time and according to His plan.  

So you have a choice....depression or freedom?  It's not easy and the evil one will try everything he can to turn you away from God, but no matter what, God is always there.  He is a fair God.  He doesn't give us our pain and sorrow, but He can surely take it away.  I challenge you to be strong in the Lord.  Spend time with Him every day.  Let Him be your Heavenly Father and love on you!  Just trust Him!

"For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds." - Jeremiah 30:17

In God's love, Sydni